That's why I took the challenge, so that it would hopefully become a more casual thing. When we don't have sex I feel guilty, like I should want it all the time. I don't come during sex, so I'll use my vibrator to have an orgasm. I've been with my husband for 21 years, but still I sometimes feel we're beginners. With pelvic-floor therapy it got better, and I have a dildo-like thing that I'm supposed to use every day to keep the area stretched. I've felt self-conscious and I've had pain near the opening of my vagina. "When I made arousal-not orgasm-the focus, sex became much more satisfying."
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And there were benefits to having an orgasm every day: My skin was glowing, my mind was more focused, and my husband had his best sales month ever!" We definitely connected on a deeper level.
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It was something fun that we both looked forward to. Ultimately, it did give our relationship the shot in the arm it needed. The other 5 times we were just doing it because of the challenge. And for about 25 of the 30 days the sex was really good. Thank goodness those days were only toward the end of the month and only happened a handful of times.
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There were some nights when we realized as we were climbing into bed: OH NO, we didn't have sex today let's hurry up and do it. We have a private backyard, an outdoor shower.we can get creative. Before the challenge, our sex life was pretty good for the most part, and with summer here-which is all about free time, having fun, staying up late, and making more time for each other-I knew that there would be more opportunity for sex. So despite having undergone cancer treatments, I allowed myself to feel sexy and love my body for all the good things it did for me every day.
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And after being diagnosed with breast cancer over 6 years ago, I realized that I wanted to say yes to more things in life-and that included saying yes to sex.